Monday, March 12, 2012

Foolish Immortals.

King of the Bunny Wabbits!
Mickey Rourke as King of the Bunny Wabbits. Wait, is that a venus flytrap on his face? Seriously, this is from the movie Immortals, which I really wanted to like, but didn't. At all.

Things I learned while watching:

1. Anywhere that you stand in the world of the Immortals, you are sure to find a dramatic sky behind you.
2. Prophets wear lampshades on their heads.
3. When you remove your metal armor, it bends.
4. You can never see Mickey Rourke eat dripping pieces of fruit too many times.
5. Titans are man-sized, with charred, black, zombie-like skin.
6. Athena was a Ninja.
7. The Olympians all wore armor fashioned from yellow Play-Doh.
It's Play-Doh, I tell ya.
8. You can always tell the magical bow. It's the one covered with black glitter paint.
9. Mount Olympus consists of a circular block of concrete on which the Gods congregate.
10. Trying to imitate the movie 300, will only bring epic failure.
11. If you are dying of thirst, having a hot chick drool in your mouth saves you every time.
12. Never substitute a guy with a metal bull helmet for a real Minotaur.
13. Every time one of your soldiers fail you, kill them.

There you have it. I learned a lot. I learned to never watch this movie again.

0 out of 5 stars.


  1. haha dude this movie was just...awful. The Minotaur was especially terrible. haha good post!

  2. Thank you, thank you. I really wanted to like it, but it just didn't happen. The costumes were just mind-boggingly stupid and Titans are supposed to be gigantic, hence the name!